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Post by jakob on Feb 21, 2006 1:54:15 GMT -5
A while back, I denounced the religion what has meant so much to me. I used to be a strong believer in Christianity, until my world fell apart. I do feel lost in some ways, I do feel distracted, I do feel successful but also corrupted. I don't know what to think, I feel as a different person. But, never before so many things made sense to me. Without the burden of a religion, what takes its place? Over time, I learned philosophy has become a major part of me, and I hope it remains, as I study the religions of the world. I do plan on majoring in philosophy and religion, which I well have a hard time in if I don't pick up my math grades in geomentry. My world has collapsed before, and it is collapsing again. Death is only hurtful to those that are left behind. This here, www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2112399 is an essay I wrote, a story of my world. It is true... I am unsure what to think, but hope and faith remains stronger then ever, but still weak as ever. |
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Post by hischild on Feb 21, 2006 3:13:11 GMT -5
Jakob one reason that the central group of people on this board are so tight is because most of either have felt or still do feel like misfits. Some of us are stronger in our faith than others but all us need each other for encouragement and prayer and general fellowship.
I invite you to stick around and be one of us in the Misfit Family. I sincerely pray that we can help you find peace once again through a relationship with our Heavenly Father. You ARE loved even when it feels like you are all alone in this world. Jesus is there waiting to escort you back to our Father.
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Post by jakob on Feb 21, 2006 3:26:04 GMT -5
Jakob one reason that the central group of people on this board are so tight is because most of either have felt or still do feel like misfits. Some of us are stronger in our faith than others but all us need each other for encouragement and prayer and general fellowship. I invite you to stick around and be one of us in the Misfit Family. I sincerely pray that we can help you find peace once again through a relationship with our Heavenly Father. You ARE loved even when it feels like you are all alone in this world. Jesus is there waiting to escort you back to our Father. Thanks. Yes, I agree. The first time my world collapsed, my friend, Dollie, she was strong in faith. She loved God, but I failed to understand the reason why. I blamed God for her death, but I believed for a while longer. While I was helping a friend restore her faith, I lost mine. She now is strong with Christian ideas, but I am not. But, if it remains this way forever more, I being more of an outcast, not accepted among the superior ranks, I accept it. I am just glad, that I could say I helped somebody out of the goodness of my heart. I was talking to my French teacher a few weeks back, I really gotten to know her (I'm the one who got her, her job. It has been her dream for a long time, and after years, she got it). She is not worried, she told me, as well as my grandma on my dad's side told me, do what I want; look into other religions, and most likely I will come back to Christianity. But so far, I deny Christianity the correct religion...I am starting to doubt if there is even a God. |
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Post by hischild on Feb 21, 2006 4:24:10 GMT -5
Jakob. . . honey, I kinda hate to be the one to break this to you but you are doing a miserable job of denying Christianity. You see your heart knows the truth and won't really let your mind it. You are mad at God. I can't say that I blame you. I get mad at God all the time. I think that since He is all powerful and omnipotent and because He loves me, why doesn't He protect me from all this pain. . . both the physical AND the emotional. So I get mad when I hurt and He doesn't prevent it from happening. I get mad because I can't walk from my bed to the kitchen or bathroom without some kind of assistance. I get mad because my earthly father killed my twin and my other brothers and sisters died from child abuse too. I get mad at God because there are certain people that I need to be with and either the grave or geography prevents it. You know Jakob, God is big enough that He can deal with you and me being mad at Him. He knows that our hearts will bring us running back to His loving embrace before long. . . because He is God and there is no other like Him.
Sometimes I yell and scream at God. Sometimes I just whisper how angry I am. But believe me, I do tell Him how I feel. And most times I feel better afterward. Sometimes it takes a good long time. I am still angry that He didn't protect me and my siblings from our parents but that doesn't stay at the forefront of my mind either. God can't really give my twin back on this side of Heaven but He has given me many other sisters and brothers and whether you know it or not, you are my brother too. I know that this true because I prayed and God told me to tell you that He knows that you are mad at Him but that He is willing to wait for you.
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Post by jakob on Feb 21, 2006 9:29:29 GMT -5
Its hard to beleive all of this, I am still filled with agony, from my best friend dying. She meant the world to me. My best friend had to die right when I was not even 14 yet. I will forever regret her funeral, the endless tears I lept for her. I miss her too dearly. I questioned myself, 'Why did she have to go?' ' Why not me?' I am the one with a major diease. I am the one the doctors beleive is going to die.
But I proudly can say, I await death. I don't fear death, I just ride death.
Death I am starting to believe is an escape.
My friend left this world with unfinished business behind.
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Post by hischild on Feb 21, 2006 11:13:03 GMT -5
Jakob,
There is no way for you to know with certainty that your friend had unfinished business. We don't know the future and even our views of the past are so often distorted that we can't see the real truth. We don't like let go of those ideas or feelings. It is as hard to say goodbye to erroneous beliefs as it is to say goodbye to those we love. You are right in saying that death is hurtful only to those left behind. I have been left behind many times and have cried over the fact that my siblings never got the chance to grow up or live. I could say that they have unfinished business and stay stuck in that or I can try my best to live without them. Your pain may never go away completely, but unless you stop clinging so tightly to it, you will not be able to experience any joy. Do you think that it was an acident that brought you here? I believe that your Father and mine, brought you here so that we could talk about your pain and find you some peace.
Jakob, there are others praying for you right now. People from all over the world. . . God loves you Jakob and He brought you here so that He could have us love you until you are ready to run back to Him.
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Post by Gwen on Feb 21, 2006 11:34:30 GMT -5
Jakob,
when people we love die it can make you feel like you've been quite literally gutted, i'm not a christian, but i used to be. It's odd isn't it, that it is only pain that can shake us to the foundations.
I understand this, & you shouldn't feel bad or guilty for your doubts, you're grieving.
I am now a pagan (whoo hoo for the Overcomers Misfit family!!), i neither fear death, not anymore, it is a natural stage of life, the one thing that any person of any creed or faith can be certain of. My brother died last year, i loved him so much & he died very suddenly, it was a harsh blow, but he'd finished with this life, far be it from me to curse the powers that be for taking him, we each of us rule our own fate, but death is our constant companion. The death of your friend at such a young age, also a harsh blow, & i can understand your rage/pain.
My advice is to give yourself some time. I'm not saying you will one day wake up a christian again, but if it once gave you such solace, you may one day warm to it again.
Time heals all things, if we let it *hug*
~Gwen~
xxx
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Post by heavenseventeen on May 12, 2006 18:05:11 GMT -5
I don't know why I am being pushed away from my religion. It's not due to a death or something bad like to make me feel that God let me down or something. I just, to be honest (but please don't be offended  ) don't care anymore. I guess it's all of the negative images on news. Most of the time the violence seems to be linked to religion. I guess that just pushed me away. |
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Post by Gwen on May 12, 2006 19:50:12 GMT -5
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Post by Michael on May 12, 2006 23:43:10 GMT -5
I understand the first two sentences and agree actually, but I don't understand what the "Holiness is in right action..." part. Meaning that holiness is right or ... yeah, what?
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Post by Gwen on May 13, 2006 6:15:40 GMT -5
it's a quote, from a crusader knight called Hospitaller, holiness is in right action means kinda like, 'do unto others' or simply be nice
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Post by admin on May 13, 2006 9:30:28 GMT -5
Yeah. I agree there. I have always thought of my beliefs being more of a relationship with God than with being religious. I've been re-examining a lot of what I believe and everything lately, too. I am not giving up my faith, but am believing things differently than what I was brought up to believe. Which does make it very difficult when everyone around me believes what I use to believe and everything. I still have a faith in Jesus and that he loves me and has forgiven me my sin, but a lot of the western culture ideals in Christianity, I am questioning more and more. It's really weird, really. And it makes it hard, too. Especially with something I am going to be doing in the next month, I know my whole family will be shocked and may disown me because they will really disagree with me. But, in my eyes, I am doing what God wants me to do and I really feel I am in the right. Sorry... I kinda went on there. and not really sure if this goes with this thread or not.  But, it just kinda spilt out. ;D |
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Post by Gwen on May 15, 2006 22:28:06 GMT -5
We love you Shanny, its great that you feel able to share with us *huggles* the loss of my faith with god began with the sickening corruption i saw in the catholic church system, it's a shame it drove me away from the christian faith alltogether but there it is, theres no use crying over spilt milk. Shan, my father is pretty much in the same place as you, he considers himself a christian (& is, a good one) but hasn't been to church since he was Mischa's age. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to go to church, jesus's quote to peter '& on this rock i will build my church' i assumed meant for Peter to merely spread the word, not organise for people to flock to one building without fail every sunday. If you look back on it, there is nothing quite so befouled or gross as the libertys the church has taken in gods name...war, bigotry, grrrr from the film Dogma...yes unconventional but still pretty cool...two characters are discussing Jesus's views on religion (as rufus knows jesus) *gets off soapbox...phew* You sound like your steeling yourself to do something Shanny....are you okay?? Kisses ~Gwen~ (who seems to have 'gone on' a bit herself)  |
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Post by Michael on May 15, 2006 23:45:57 GMT -5
Gwen, I do believe you and AGREE so much. Lately, I've realized that, unfortunately, the Church (my church mostly like the hardcore pentecostals/holy rollers/holiness) grow up in strict DO THIS and DO THAT NO QUESTIONS ASKED B/C GOD SAYS SO and continue to press others who don't think or believe the same. I've also realized that one persons convictions isn't for everyone. It may be just for that one person. So I understand how it is easier to change an idea than a belief because you base your life on that belief and when something happes and you understand that that belief is just an idea and you don't HAVE to do it, but. . . nvm, I'm rambling and I've lost myself. But I do understand you. Rufus had it right. Beliefs do stunt growth and cause life to be stagnant. But, my ideas that I follow, *nods*, are going good.
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Post by Gwen on May 16, 2006 0:04:37 GMT -5
it's said that Dogma it totally hated by most christians as being utterly blastphemous, one of the worst movies out there....but under the wackiness i think it really captures the spirit of i blooming good idea lol
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Post by Michael on May 16, 2006 0:34:04 GMT -5
^^ lol, yeah, but you know. Us Christians also go crazy about little things but I don't know. I haven't seen Dogma so I can't really make an opinion and all that jaaaz.
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Post by silverspec5 on May 18, 2006 9:46:32 GMT -5
Mmmm...I really hope I am not stepping on toes here, but since everyone is giving their thoughts on their faith and Christianity, I shall give mine.
I was raised in a very strict, old-fashioned religion. I have since moved away from that, but the values and beliefs that I have been taught have always stuck with me and I still believe in them fully.
As for some of you questioning your beliefs and religions because of what is out there, I ask you what do you feel in your heart to be correct and right. Everyone has a concience, but I think sometimes we fail to listen to the truth that is right in front of us.
If we question our religion because of the different religions and different cultural beliefs, we shall always be lost. The Bible says 'Your body is your temple'. When we question Gods ways it is only human, how far we take the bitterness and question can be either our victory or our downfall.
I to have doubted at times and ask God, "Why?" My grandfather passed away in '99 the day after Christmas. Yes I was extremely bitter and asked God why the pain and suffering for someone who had trusted God with everything. One day I was sitting at his grave crying and asking 'why'....then it hit me...The obvious thought that death is inevitable and also...he had suffered, he had trusted God, and by death he was rewarded relief from the pain and also the glory of being in heaven. As hard as it was for me to let go, that thought comforted me. My grandfather was tested with his pain and throughout it all he always smiled and said that God was his strength to bear the pain and he never doubted God's plan.
I like to think that now he is in a better place free from pain, suffering, and is now where he wants to be...with God.
As for believing? I pray and ask God how to handle each situation, even if it doesn't turn out the way it is supposed to, I still thank God for what I have. The many different religions and thoughts that are surrounded around Christianity, I ask God for help to shield me from the doubt and questions, and look to him for the guidance and have the faith that he will continue to guide and protect me no matter.....
Sorry for this being so long, lol once you start, it is hard to finish
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Post by admin on May 20, 2006 22:59:38 GMT -5
You sound like your steeling yourself to do something Shanny....are you okay?? Kisses ~Gwen~ (who seems to have 'gone on' a bit herself) Gwen, I'm going to PM you what is going on *hugs* |
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Post by PawsTastic on May 20, 2006 23:12:49 GMT -5
I used to be a bit offish when I was saved. Like I wanted to do devotions and go to church but everytime that would come around I would rebell or bail out.
My husband and I had it pretty rocky since 2001. His mother passed away from termenal cancer on Sept 27th and really effected my husband pretty bad. He and his mom were so close that he felt lost.
His mother was the prime example to see a wonderful christian faith in her, going to church and doing devotions.
Well just around that time before his mother passed away I got much much better. Instead of rebelling we would pray first before we did devotions, or the night before church. Ever since we had done that I started devotions and went back to church. Just a month after his mum died we had not been in church with all the move from his dad, car went, and dealing alot with his mum's death, I went back into again but this time I would get sick everytime it happened. I have very bad case of IBS and colin colitist. Well everytime sunday morning came I would get sick so that would be the excuse of not doing what God wants me.
Just after Christmas we came home and found our dresser half way in the floor. So we had to move again after moving his dad for 2 months. We finally get settled into our new place and felt at peace. We had not been following God and doing what us Christians was supposed to be doing. We found a new church a month ago. Let me tell you this.
When I became a Christian I hated to go to church and getting up early for it. When we found this church every weekend I look forward to it and want to be up for it. My husband has been so happy since that has happened.
Do not rebell with this. Instead of allowing thoughts like what you are doing Pray right away and ask God to help you. Leave it with him. It took me a good while to learn to leave it all with God, give it to him. Let him work with you.
You will see and it will change.
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Post by dj on May 31, 2006 0:21:53 GMT -5
Hello, I am new here and this is only my second post. you know today I got an email about what it means to say we are a Christian. So many people have dubbed us as Jesus freaks and religious nuts and fanatics and so forth. I hear a lot of talk about religion(s) and so forth. In some cases, these are true and in others they are way off. To me the word religion just describes a bunch of actions associated with faith. I dont necessarily worry about religion. What I count on is the knowledge of saving grace through Christ our Savior. He bled, He was tortured, He was ridiculed, He suffered and He died, yet He was also blameless. At the time He suffered through all of this, He did it for you. Same as He did for me and everyone else who is willing to accept that gift of salvation. Forget religion and start concentrating on your faith in Christ, "which has made you whole". He wiped your slate completely clean and has forgiven anything you may have done to Him. You struggle right now. Phillipians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things THROUGH CHRIST JESUS who has given us strength. All you hae to do is call on His name and He is right there waiting for you. As far as we seem to run and denounce and hurt Him as much as we infinite humans can possibly comprehend, No matter what, He is still right there next to you holding out His hand waiting for you to take it and let HIM lead YOU! I want to share with you what being a Christian really is all about. You will see in this poem that we all struggle with exactly the same thing. SIN. God has forgiven us, all we need to do is ask Him for it. He wants you to be a part of HIS KINGDOM. So you have denounced your religion? Did you denounce your faith as well? Even if you did, ask God to give you the knowledge and the peace that you so desperatley need to get through this confusing time. He tell us in John, IF YOU WHO ARE CALLED BY NAME WILL TAKE UP YOUR CROSS AND FOLLOW ME.... He IS calling you! All you need to do is answer! One last verse for you also from John is this: If you will humble yourself and ask according to MY (God's) Will, then it will be given to you. Remember, these are promises from God Himself through Christ His Son. here is that poem I got in my email this morning: When I say..."I am a Christian"
When I say..."I am a Christian
I'm not shouting, "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my Guide.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's Good Grace, somehow! |
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